another day, another dolla. did nothing, still got paid.
that thing is true – you are who you hang around.
not only that, but also all your surroundings. the city. your room. your clothes. things you have on your phone. but most importantly, the guys you text to.
everyone knows about it. maybe not understand, but knows about it. and I've been, back there in soviet (hah) times, around people who were quite toxic. so I became toxic myself. I fought with it, but half-assing most of the time.
the only period I can remember where I really pushed myself was 3 years ago. wow.
what really hurts me, is the fact that i'm here for about 3 years now, and still can't speak the language. it's embarrassing.. but hold on, I was about to summarize my day.
So it started off good – half-assed in the gym, meditated like a bitch, and then asked my roommate if he could turn on the dishwasher a little earlier than midnight – because it's loud. He gave me the look of death, and said that if I want to have it run earlier – i should turn it on earlier.
I got really pissed.
p.s – half-assed journal post